International Women's Day and a Letter to the Editor

In honour of International Women's Day and in the spirit of challenging attitudes, patterns and practices that sustain discrimination and violence again women, I composed the following Letter to the Editor of the Charlatan, Carleton University's Independent Weekly Newspaper.

Given that my initial reaction involved more profanities than I will admit to, I think the letter below articulates a reasoned and fair response to the article in question. I hope you enjoy my response and I wish all my sisters out there a Happy International Women's Day!

Men, get comfortable with “playing it safe rather than sorry when interacting with women."

Re: “Opinion: Feminism has put men on eggshells,” Mar. 6, 2013.

My first thought when I read the title of the opinion piece by Marc Yegani was “feminism has not put men on eggshells, men have put men on eggshells.” To be clear, when I say ‘men’ I do not mean all men, but in particular those men who find it burdensome to communicate with women in a way that respects their personhood and dignity. That respectful communication with women is perceived by some men as challenging or burdensome is one of the many indicators that we should all support feminism’s continued goals of confronting, dismantling, and eliminating patriarchy, sexism, and misogyny. It is these factors which make the scenarios described by Yegani challenging for both men and women. For example, I think that most women would appreciate being complimented on the quality of their work, not how they look, by their employers.

It is very disappointing to me that Yegani seems to be lamenting the situation of “men playing it safe rather than sorry when it comes to their interactions with women.” Not only is this ‘approach’ fortunate, because respect provides a solid foundation for meaningful relationships of all kinds, it is a necessary step toward eliminating discrimination and violence against women. That there are men out there who play it “safe rather than sorry” when interacting with women is a relief to me, all the more so when they actively integrate this ‘mindset’ and ‘approach’ into their lives. They are the men who I feel comfortable with, who make me feel appreciated and respected, and who don’t give me reasons to worry that I am at risk of being harassed, hurt and/or raped.

I am not suggesting that Yegani wants to sustain patterns and practices which oppress and harm women. He might view himself as one of those men who supports the “women’s movement … but from a distance.” I am also sympathetic to his point that some men find interacting with women to be an at times challenging, uncomfortable or confusing experience. I can honestly say that, as a woman, interacting with men has not always been a piece of cake. But I vocally challenge the idea that feminism is to blame for the discomfort that men might feel when interacting with women.

Addressing and confronting the factors that disadvantage, marginalize and oppress women in public and private life is a challenging process. It involves understanding that “playing it safe rather than sorry” is frequently a daily reality for women because we have legitimate reasons to fear that we could or will be victims of violence perpetrated by men. Ultimately, men who want to establish healthy and meaningful relationships with women will have to accept and get comfortable with “playing it safe rather than sorry.”

#J11 - Idle No More Day of Global Action

It's the night before a global day of action for Idle No More, a grassroots movement lead by indigenous peoples in Canada that has gained attention around the world. As each day passes there's always more to read, think about, and learn that I've found it difficult to make myself sit down and write. I will try to post what I've been working on soon, but I wanted to take a moment tonight to pause and reflect on what is taking place right now in Canada. I feel as if we are at a critical turning point and that what happens now has the potential to reshape all of our lives for the better, if we rise to the occasion. I am grateful to this movement for giving us this opportunity. 

Growing up as a non-indigenous, middle-class kid in Canada in the 1980s, I did not learn the ugly truths about colonialism, residential schools and the systematic exploitation of aboriginal peoples in my country. What I do remember learning about aboriginal people and their relations with European settlers was that they traded goods, such as fur.

It wasn't until I entered university and took a course on human rights that I learned about the exploitation, oppression and repression of indigenous people in Canada. It was a rude awakening. It wasn't that I didn't know that there were people living on this land before settlers arrived. I wasn't completely unaware that European powers had overtaken land that they had no right to. But until I studied history and read and heard people's stories, I didn't understand how that related to present day Canada, to relations between the Canadian government and aboriginal peoples, and to me.

Idle No More has reminded me that to understand Canada's present and our place in it, and to be a part of shaping its future, we need to learn more about our past. We need to listen to what indigenous peoples are telling us, to follow their lead, and to work in partnership with them to foster relationships are characterized by mutual respect, understanding, and good faith.

Tomorrow I will march to Parliament Hill and join indigenous and non-indigenous people in calling on the federal government to repeal legislation that threatens the integrity of our environment and the rights of aboriginal peoples in Canada and to commit to working in partnership with First Nations communities in a spirit of good faith.